Chapters of Our Life

New Year, New Name!

2011-01-23T14:48:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about changing the name of my blog for a while. While "Partly Sunny with a Chance of Showers" describes my usual mood and is pretty accurate for the PacNW, I acutally find the name a little depressing. So, after thinking about it and thinking about what a good description would be for our lives, I came up with a new name....Chapters of Our Life. I like it, it feels right and it accurately describes how I feel about our lives, we're going through chapters. We've been through the "Newly Married" chapter, the "Babies, babies and more babies" chapter, we've had the "Working mom" chapter, the "Husband/Dad deployed chapter (twice), the "I have an adult child" chapter (three times), the "My baby is married" chapter, the "I'm a grandparent" chapter, and right now we're working on the "In a couple of years my children will all be grown" chapter. So, that's where the new name came from and I'm looking forward to all the new chapters that will be written!

December!

2011-01-04T14:34:00.000-08:00

December is always, always a busy but fun month!

We started off the month celebrating Lindsay's 26th birthday with a trip to the casino buffet where we ate too much yummy food and then went out on the casino floor and played a few rounds on the slot machines. Kelly and I and the girls and my mom went. When we got there my brother-in-law, his wife and my husband's parents were there celebrating my b-i-l's birthday. Kind of wierd. The next day was Lindsay's actual birthday and Kelsey made her a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cake.;

The next weekend Kelly's Guard unit had a formal, adults only, Christmas dinner at the Tiffany Center in downtown Portland. It was a really pretty place but the dinner was SO boring. There was no entertainment unless you count the 1/2 hour video of pictures from the deployment to Iraq (10 min would have been sufficient!);

Kelsey and a big group of her friends went to Winter Formal. They had two Hummer limos and went to dinner at the Macaroni Grill;

We went and got our Christmas tree. We went to a place we hadn't got to before. You pick out your tree and they cut it for you. We got a 7ft Noble for $15.00! One of the many reasons I love living here!!;

Kelsey had two Christmas (oh, excuse me..."Holiday") concerts at school;

The next weekend Kelly took Friday off and he and I went to Portland and stayed two nights at the Ambassador Hotel. We had a great time walking around downtown, Pioneer Courthouse Square, Saturday Market, having dinner at the Melting Pot and just enjoying the Christmas atmosphere;

The next week Kelly took Wednesday off and we took the girls to Portland to do a lot of the same things. We went to PQS, Saturday Market, ate lunch at the food carts, got Voodoo donuts, went to the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial at Washington Park and went to zoo lights. I've wanted to take the kids to zoo lights for years. It was crazy!! We got in quickly because we have a membership and immediately got in line for the train. We were on the third train (each one holds about 100 people) and when we got off, the line was HUGE! We got hot chocolate and walked around, looking at the lights;

On the 23rd we went to my sister's for what we call "Christmas eve eve". It's a time for our immediate family (my parents and sisters and our families) to have our own time. We do it then so that we can have Christmas eve to just do our own things. We had a great time eating and visiting;

Christmas eve we went to the Voyage of the Dawn Treader movie. We've gone to all the Narnia movies at Christmas time and our church centered the sermons around the movie this year;

Christmas day we went to my other sister's house where we again, ate too much and enjoyed seeing family;

The last week of the year we didn't do much of anything, just hung around home. New Year's eve we made lots of snack food and stayed home to celebrate. I was super tired and went to bed right after midnight and woke up at 3:30am to my hubby coming in to bed. He and the girls had finally finished their Star Wars movie marathon (they watched all of the first three movies)! And, just like that, another year is done!

November

2010-12-31T18:38:00.000-08:00

November started with Brittany and Holden returning home to Texas;

10 days later I left to go to Texas to stay for 10 days while Nick was training in another state. We spent the time visiting the PX, playing at the playground, seeing the sights of El Paso, visiting the hospital (for hours!) for Britt's doctor's appointment, and hanging around the house. It was so odd to leave here where it was cold and raining to go there where it was in the 70's most days. I went from wearing sweaters and coats to short sleeves and flip-flops!

Even more odd, when I returned home it was freezing and snowed the next day!;

Kelsey bought her first car, a 1965 Ford Mustang! It needs a little work like a new paint job and some minor repairs but it runs. The biggest issue is that it is a stick shift and Kelsey has to learn to drive it;

We had a nice Thanksgiving at my sister's house here in town. I really like only having to drive across town!

October Wrap-Up

2010-12-06T11:36:00.000-08:00

October was a fun month!

The girls were out of school for a couple of days so Kelly took time off work and we went to Rilea for two nights. We took a walk around the camp, visited Fort Clatsop and took a long nature walk along the bay, went out to the jetty where the waves were breaking over the jetty, drove around Astoria, flew wooden airplanes off the Astoria column, drove across the bridge to Washington and back and introduced the girls to "our" new pizza place. We took the long way home down the coast stopping to take in the scenery at the top of the mountain looking down at Manzanita, drove through Sand Lake, checked out the Cape Mears lighthouse and octopus tree, stopped at the Tillamook Cheese Factory and had ice cream, drove along the bay out to Netarts, found the house my grandparent's used to own, fed the fish at the hatchery, climbed the dunes from Tierra Del Mar to Pacific City and came home;

Kelly and I got to spend our "favorite" holiday together (Columbus Day, when he has the day off but the girls have school!);

took a couple of trips to the VA with a stop-off at IKEA;

Brittany and Holden came later in the month and stayed for a couple of weeks;

Kelly, Lindsay, Brittany and Kelsey went crabbing and caught ONE keeper. They gave it to some other people there since it was pointless to bring home one crab. Chloey, Shelby, Holden and I met them at the beach and went to lunch at Galluccis;

Kelsey made an awesome Halloween cake;

Brittany made Holden a lion costume and he trick-or-treated our block (much to the delight of the neighbors who've seen my girls grow up), stopped at Uncle John's and finished the night at my parent's house. (and I didn't get any pictures)

All in all, October was a good month!

Super September

2010-10-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

September is all about getting into the new routine. I dread school starting at first because I hate giving up the relaxed, easy-going pace of summer. But, once they get back to school I love having my days to myself and being able to get the house clean and have it stay clean (for at least as long as the school day!).

This month we:

Took the boat out on the Friday of Labor Day weekend and took a two hour cruise (an hour each way) from Newberg (where we always put the boat in) to the Oregon City Falls (where you have to either turn around or go through the locks) and back;

celebrated my birthday on Sunday with a barbecue at my parent's and a beautiful cake made by my middle daughter (and future chef) Kelsey;

went to the beach with my girls, my nieces and my mom on the first day of school. Here only the freshman go on the first day and we don't have any of those this year (yay!). We went to the mall, spent time on the beach and ate at Gallucci's (of course);

had another barbecue and birthday party for Kelsey who turned 18 (!) and her only request was that someone other than her make her cake. Shelby did the honors! ;

found out that we are going to have a new grandbaby in May 2011! ;

celebrated our great-nephew's first birthday (well, Kelly and Chloey were the only ones who got to go). Shelby ended up getting sick that morning and then Kelsey had a meeting after work that ran way longer than it was supposed to so the three of us ended up staying home;

other than that, the month was spent going to the doctor, dentist and orthodontist and just getting back into the routine of school.

Our Crazy August

2010-10-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

August is always a pretty crazy, busy month, trying to fit in camping, getting ready for school and trying to enjoy the last bits of carefree days.

We started off the month with a surprise party for my hubby. Last year he turned 50 while he was deployed to Iraq so that pretty much blew. So, I planned a party with the theme "we're gonna party like it's 2009", rolling back the calendar and having a "do-over" for his birthday. It was pretty funny all the stories I came up with for everything from two trips to Costco for the food (which I hid at my parent's house), to the reason for going to the park (where we had the party). He was completely surprised and it was awesome!

We had our annual block party with all the neighbors and got caught up with everyone;

Kelly and I celebrated our 27th Anniversary with a kayak trip to Smith Lake in Portland. It was a really fun day even though the lake was full of some kind of weed that made paddling challenging!

We went camping at Foster with my whole family and it was especially great having a boat this year. We spent many hours on the lake and I kayaked every day too. We even stayed an extra day this year and got home just as the 100 degree weather hit;

My mom and sister on the tube

Kelly and I and the girls spent a day at the beach shopping at the mall, eating at Galucci's and watching kiteboarders;

we had a birthday party for my dad who turned 72;

went shopping at the mall in Clackamas and met Kelly at Chipolte for dinner;

spent 2 hours (!) in line registering the girls for school;

I took my three of my girls (17, 15, 15) and my sister's three girls (16, 15, 1) to Salem for what turned out to be all day and we had a really fun time;

and again, we spent lots of days out on the boat.

And, that's August!

Life in July

2010-08-22T12:11:00.001-07:00

July was a busy month.

To start off, our nephew and his wife added a new baby boy to the family;
Nick, Brittany and Holden were here for a visit;
the transmission went out on the Suburban on the way to the airport to pick them up so pretty much the whole time they were here we had the 4-Runner (which holds 4 people comfortably) for 8-9 people!

We spent a day at the zoo with all of us, my mom, both sisters, one brother-in-law, four nieces and two nephews (and my BIL's grandma). The weather was cool which was nice for a day at the zoo and we had a great time.

We celebrated the 4th with a barbecue and fireworks at my parents and celebrated my niece, Rilee's first birthday;

Kelly went back to work after being off for 11 weeks;
the Allen's returned to Texas;
we had a 40th birthday party for my BIL;
my BFF was here visiting from California and we got to go to lunch to catch up;
we had a graduation party for my niece, Sarah;
we went to dinner with some good friends from church and,
we spent MANY days out on the boat!

June Happenings

2010-08-04T18:33:00.000-07:00

June was a busy month! Kelly was still on his leave and spent most of it working to get the boat running. Not exactly how I had envisioned spending his time off but, oh well, that's kind of the way life goes!

In June we went kayaking at Devils Lake,

Shelby FINALLY got her braces off,

we welcomed a new member of the family, my niece's baby boy, Karter, the girls got out of school and we took the boat out a couple times.

The month went by fast!

May Goings On At Our House

2010-08-04T15:05:00.000-07:00

May was a lot of wonderful with a little not so much.

The wonderful was having my sweet husband home after a looonnng deployment to Iraq. He came home with 11 weeks of leave time so we spent the days together while the kids were at school hanging out, waiting for the rain to stop, bike riding (when it did) and he shopped for a boat. He ended up buying a boat that needed a new engine (what can I say, we love a challenge!).

Another part of the wonderful was the trip that Kelly and I took to Washington. We spent three nights in Seattle at the Silver Cloud on Lake Union. We had a great time checking out Gas Works Park, riding bikes, visiting Ballard Locks, Pike's Market and Fisherman's Terminal.

We left Seattle and took the ferry across the sound and stayed three nights at the Inn at Port Ludlow. We stopped in at a marina and found a guy that worked there that had an engine for sale that we ended up bringing home for our boat. We spent our time there kayaking, riding bikes, visiting Port Townsend and the Museum of Glass.

The "not so much" was my grandfather passing away while we were on vacation (see previous post for that). We came home from our vacation and had a nice going home celebration for him.

Grandpa

2010-05-18T15:11:00.001-07:00

My grandpa died this morning. How do I begin to express how much I loved that man. One of my earliest memories of him was of a game we would play. I would sit on his lap and look at his watch and say, "what time is it, Grandpa?" and he would say, "it's kissing time!" and I would give him a kiss and then ask again and again and again... His looks were deceptive. He was a big man with a gruff voice but he was a total marshmallow with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He was always sweet and loving and I always felt that no matter what I did he loved me and was proud of me. He was proud to have lived long enough to be a great-great grandpa when Holden was born and his family meant everything to him. He had so many stories that I wish I had recorded. Stories about his childhood, history of McMinnville and areas around Oregon. He was humble, hard-working, a genius at math and loved figuring out the best time to invest or sell stocks. Even in his last months, whenever we would visit him, he would get a big smile and was happy to have hugs and kisses from us all. I miss him already!

He's Home!

2010-04-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

Kelly returned home from Iraq (via Ft. Lewis) on Wednesday, 4/21. Up til the last minute the military was changing the date, time, location, etc. Finally we got the "official" word at about 10pm, Tuesday night that they would be arriving in Portland at 11am, Wednesday. So, the girls and my mom and I left for Portland planning to arrive by about 10:30 so we would be there when they arrived. Yeah, not so much. Kelly is texting as the buses are driving down from Washington telling us each city they pass and while we are still about 1/2 hour away, they have just crossed the river into Oregon. So, he got there before we did. I was really disappointed but, what can you do, it's done. We finally met up with him and held up his sign, got hugs and went into the Chiles Center to wait (3 hours!) for the ceremony to start.

We staked out our seats and sat and talked for a while. They made an announcement that lunch was available for the soldiers so Kelly went and got a plate to share with us. Later they apparently had a lot of food left so they opened it up to all the families so we got to have a nice lunch before the ceremony. Thankfully the ceremony was pretty short and after it was over we went to the armory, picked up his bags and headed home. We've haven't done much since then. We went to the Roadhouse for dinner on Friday and went to church on Sunday but the rest of the time has been spent hanging out. He doesn't have to go back to work until the 6th of July. He and I are taking a kayaking class and taking a week-long trip to Seattle next month and he's searching Craigslist for the boat he's been waiting to buy. Otherwise, we're just enjoying life right now!

Spring Break

2010-04-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, Spring Break was like almost three weeks ago and I'm just getting a blog written about it. Brittany and Holden flew in from Texas on Monday, March 22nd at around midnight (Tuesday am).

Wednesday morning Brittany invited her friend and her baby girl over and Brittany made waffles for everyone.

Thursday we went to the beach with all 7 of us, my mom and my sister and her girls. We stopped at Otis to get corndogs for lunch and my keys got locked in the car. After waiting for the tow truck driver to come and get them out we went on our way. We went to the outlet mall and shopped and then stopped for pizza at Galucci's. The girls wanted to go the "beach" so we drove down to Road's End and stopped. It was raining quite hard that day so we just sat there in the car for a few minutes and then came home. Saturday was a nice day so the girls all went to the beach and I stayed home. This time they actually got to go to the "beach". While there they found two glass floats that are planted all along the Oregon coast by local artists (pretty cool)!

Sunday morning after church Brittany, Holden and I went with my mom to see my grandpa in the nursing home. I don't know if he could tell that it was Holden or not but he smiled and kissed his head.

The next week I kept Holden one day so Brittany could have a kid-free shopping date with a friend.

We didn't do a whole lot else but it seemed like we were really busy and the time went by quickly and they went home on April 1st.

15/93

2010-03-12T11:44:00.000-08:00

My babies turned 15 yesterday. It's sort of hard to comprehend really that they are becoming young women. We had a good time yesterday. Kelly called from Iraq in the morning to wish them Happy Birthday. I took them balloons and candy to school and after school we took cupcakes to celebrate with my grandpa at the nursing home. He turned 93 yesterday and the girls are his birthday babies. Later Kelsey, Chloey, Shelby, Lindsay, my mom and me went to McMenamins for dinner. We ate on the rooftop, inside and had a really good time. Then we came home and had ice cream cake and the girls opened their gifts/cards. It was kind of a low-key birthday but it was fun!

Gratitude - Day 28

2010-02-28T09:27:00.000-08:00

I actually did it, I wrote a blog of some sort or another for 28 days straight!!

Today I have left the best for last. I am grateful for God. I am grateful for knowing Him early in my life. For trusting and believing His words and for miraculous things that He has done. I am thankful for all that He has provided for me and my family. I am grateful for His love and mercy and for the sacrifice of His son.

Gratitude - Day 27

2010-02-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for pain relievers. I have a massive headache today but I took something so hopefully it will be gone soon!

Gratitude - Day 26

2010-02-26T06:59:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for love. I am grateful that I was loved as a child, loved by my husband, loved by my children and friends and most especially loved by God. I am grateful to be able to give love to my family, friends and even to people I don't know. I want to live my life in a spirit of love and to have everyone who comes in contact with me to feel loved. Some days it is easier to be loving than others, but it is a goal. Here is a song that I heard that made me think about being grateful for love.

Love Never Fails
Brandon Heath
From the album What If We

Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don't

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won't make a sound
When I can't turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river that flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you

Gratitude - Day 25

2010-02-25T11:50:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my sisters. I feel kind of sorry for women/girls who don't have sisters. I guess if you don't, you don't really know what you're missing but I can't imagine not having sisters. My sisters and I are all VERY different. I was thinking about this the other day and I realized that I am the type that makes myself crazy planning things. I worry that I won't make the right decision or that what I am doing won't work right or whatever. I end up planning so much that I have a hard time starting something or making a decision but when I do, it turns out pretty awesome.

My next younger sister is also a planner but she gets in and does things easier that I do. Her issue is perfection. She spends so much time trying to get everything perfect that she makes herself a little crazy but everything she does turns out beautiful.

My youngest sister is not so much a planner as a doer. She just jumps in, full steam ahead. Which can be good and bad. Sometimes she makes the rest of us crazy because of the lack of planning but she does get a lot of things done and isn't afraid to try new things.

So, today I am thankful for my sisters. We are there for each other and all our assorted children and I can't imagine my life without them! And, happy 40th birthday today to my "baby" sister!

Gratitude - Day 24

2010-02-24T09:12:00.001-08:00

Today I am thankful for my house. First, I am thankful to have a house. I'm thankful that our children all have grown up with a yard to play in, a place to ride bikes, and great neighbors. We moved into our house in November of 1984, one month before Lindsay, our oldest, was born. My in-laws purchased the house as an investment and we rented it from them until they retired 8 years later. Then in February 1992, we bought it from them. We lived here for another 9 years and then did an extensive remodel. We added a second story, doubling our square footage and going from 3 bedrooms, 2 baths to 6 bedrooms, 4 baths. Thankfully my dad and my husband (and I) did a lot of the work so our cost wasn't huge and now we have this great house with lots of room and we didn't have to leave our wonderful neighborhood!

Gratitude - Day 23

2010-02-23T09:14:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my grandson, Holden. He is 13 months old and I just love him so much! Being a grandparent is so different. You can just have fun and love them without all the pressure of the raising of them. He is such a sweet, funny, happy, busy, smart and totally adorable baby boy! After growing up with two sisters and having five daughters it was quite a surprise to have a grandson. I only wish that he didn't live so far away but we've made the best of it. Either I've gone there to visit or they have come here about every three months or so. He's coming to visit next month and I can't wait!

Gratitude - Day 22

2010-02-22T10:06:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for the signs that Spring is close at hand. The crocuses have bloomed, the daffodils are starting to bloom and the tulips are coming up out of the ground. The grass is starting to grow, the birds are singing and the sun is shining (for today at least)!

Gratitude - Day 21

2010-02-21T09:37:00.001-08:00

Today I am grateful for an unexpected phone call from my husband in Iraq. He normally calls every other day for about an hour. Yesterday he called but had to go to a meeting so our call was a little shorter. He called this morning because he felt bad that we didn't get to talk for very long. Love him!

Gratitude - Day 20

2010-02-20T09:52:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for my dog, Daphne. She is a boxer and she turns 6 today. She makes life interesting, to say the least. She is sweet and lovable and has the cutest face. She can also be frustrating. She gets into the garbage if it's left out, chases cats and barks at other dogs. Sometimes I think life would be so much easier without a dog. We can't leave overnight without either taking her or having someone stay here with her, I get tired of wiping her muddy feet every time she goes outside and sometimes she's just a pain. But, I can't really imagine life without her. She's so happy to see me when I come home, she loves to sleep with the girls at night and she truly lives in the moment. Happy Birthday Daphne!

Gratitude - Day 19

2010-02-19T08:23:00.001-08:00

Today I am thankful for answered prayers. My niece is expecting a baby boy in June. She's still a senior in High School so this was hard news to be happy about at first, but now we are excited for this little boy to join our family. She was told that at her 20 week ultrasound that there were some areas of concern that the radiologist saw in the baby's heart and brain so she was sent to Portland for a more comprehensive ultrasound and a meeting with a genetisist (not easy for anyone, let alone a 17 year old!). Well, I spent the morning praying as I'm sure everyone else in the family was and later we got the news that everything is fine! So, thank you God for answered prayers and thank You for little Karter!

Gratitude - Day 18

2010-02-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for healthy kids. I am so blessed that we have not had to deal with anything other than minor health issues with our kids. They've had colds, ear infections, (ear tubes), bladder infections, kidney infections, a broken wrist, strep throat, chicken pox and probably a few more things, but those are nothing compared to what some people face. There is a blog that I read daily about a little girl named Kate. She was a perfectly healthy 4 or 5 year old when her mother noticed her hand shaking one day. When they had it checked out they found that she had a cancerous brain tumor. Every day I read about her and her battle to win against this disease. It's heart wrenching to imagine going through that and it truly makes me grateful to have healthy kids.

Gratitude - Day 17

2010-02-17T08:52:00.001-08:00

I am grateful today that it is only two months from today that my hubby will be home!!!

Gratitude - Day 16

2010-02-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

I am grateful for a beautiful, sunny day today. This morning there were lots of gray clouds but the sun was shining brightly and the steam was rising off the pavement. The fog rolled in for a little while and now it is sunny and gorgeous again. Like they say, "if you don't like the weather in Oregon, just wait a few minutes"!

Gratitude - Day 15

2010-02-15T09:48:00.000-08:00

You know how you don't appreciate something until you (almost) lose it? Today I am grateful for a healthy heart. It's been a few nerve wracking weeks waiting to find out that my heart is healthy. I've always had an occasional irregular heartbeat and it's never been an issue. After Kelly went back to Iraq after Christmas I started having irregular beats many, many times a day. I went to my regular doctor and she ordered an EKG, bloodwork and had me wear a Holter monitor for 24 hours. When the results came back they showed that I was having PVCs and PACs which means that my heart is missing one pump, letting extra blood build up and then when it does pump I can feel it. So, she sent me to a cardiologist who ordered an ECHO/stress test. They did an extensive ultrasound on my resting heart and then had me on the treadmill, then did another quick ultrasound while my heart was still pumping hard. The result was that when my heart pumps blood to my lungs it sometimes misses one or two pumps. It is apparently not dangerous, quite common and doesn't require any treatment (unless I choose to). So, I was given clearance to go about my life without any restrictions with instructions to come back if it gets worse and having a follow-up appointment in one year. After all this, I am very thankful for my healthy heart!

Gratitude - Day 14

2010-02-14T11:58:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!! I have been saving today to say how grateful I am for my husband. I love him so much and have for the past (almost) 30 years! I knew that I wanted to be with him forever when we first started dating. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else, ever, and I still feel that way. He is everything that most men aren't typically known to be. He is gentle, kind, funny, thoughtful, sweet, caring, giving, unselfish, loving and romantic. He genuinely likes doing things for me and always encourages me to be the best that I can be. He is truly my best friend and I would rather spend time with him than with anyone else. He makes me feel loved and protected and always wants me to be happy. He wrote me this sweet card and sent it to me from Iraq for Valentine's Day. Hopefully he won't care that I share it here, it just captures how wonderful he is. Here is what he wrote for me.

I can't help but find myself at a loss for words, trying to describe the wave of feelings that rushes through me when I look into the face of the woman that has pledged herself to me, for life.

I ask myself, how could I have been so blessed? What makes me so deserving of this woman's love? I don't know that I could ever have achieved what I have if not for her, her strength, her wisdom, her support and most of all her love.

See what I mean? I love this man so much!

Even though we're apart for Valentine's Day this year he still made my day!

Gratitude - Day 13

2010-02-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for Shelby, my fifth-born and the younger of the twins. Shelby...what can I say, she is even more complex than her sister. Every morning waking her up is a challenge. From day care to now High School, every morning she is grumpy and will only mumble when I ask what she wants for breakfast. Yet, after she's up and eaten breakfast she is like a completely different person. She is silly, noisy and goofy at home and with her friends but the comment from every teacher is that she is quiet and shy. She is uncomfortable in situations when she is alone and really relies on Chloey. She definately keeps life interesting and I love her, she's the baby!

Gratitude - Day 12

2010-02-12T09:47:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for Chloey, my fourth-born and the older of my twins. Chloey is very complex. She is calm and pretty level-headed. She can be silly but is mature in a way too. She has always kind of taken care of her sister. When they were little she would always give in and let Shelby have her way (until I realized what was going on and put a stop to it!). She is very loving and (almost) always tries to do what is expected of her but I think she also has a little bit of a sneaky side. You have to watch the quiet ones... She is turning into a lovely young woman and I love her mucho!

Gratitude - Day 11

2010-02-11T08:25:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for Kelsey, my third-born and middle child. After suffering a miscarriage and trying for a year to get pregnant again, she was an answer to my prayers. She was a VERY busy toddler and challenged me immensely but has grown to be a wonderful, thoughtful, caring person. She is such a team player and is truly ok with not being the "star" or the center of attention. She is so curious about everything and loves to learn. Love that girl!

Gratitude - Day 10

2010-02-10T09:57:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for Brittany, my second born. Sadly, she moved away two years ago when she got married so I don't get to see her as often as I would like. She's also the mother of my totally wonderful grandson and she is a great mom. I wish she could be more outgoing and look for opportunities to make some friends where she lives but that's just not her personality (or mine either so I totally get it!). I just want her to be happy and fulfilled whatever she chooses in life and I am grateful to be her mother!

Gratitude - Day 9

2010-02-08T09:58:00.001-08:00

Today I am grateful for Lindsay. My first born who paved the way for her four sisters. I heard this song today and it made me think of her.

The Words I Would Say

Three in the morning, and I'm still awake
So I picked up a pen and a page
And I started writing just what I'd say
If we were face to face
I'd tell you just what you mean to me
Tell you these simple truths

Chorus

Be strong in the Lord
And never give up hope
You're gonna do great things
I already know
God's got His hand on You
So don't live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray
These are the words I would say

Last time we spoke you said you were hurting
And I felt your pain in my heart
I want to tell you that I keep on praying
Love will find you where you are
I know 'cause I've already been there
So please hear these simple truths

Chorus

Say from one simple life to another
I will say come find peace in the Father

Be strong in the Lord
And never give up hope

You're gonna do great things
I already know
God's got His hand on You
So don't live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray
And thank God for each day
His love will find a way
These are the words I would say

Gratitude - Day 8

2010-02-08T09:50:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for coffee on a Monday morning! Oh, and kids going back to school after the weekend!

Gratitude - Day 7

2010-02-07T16:32:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for sunny, warm February days! It makes such a nice break from the rain and cold. I even went out and pulled weeds out of the flowerbeds this afternoon!

Gratitude - Day 6

2010-02-06T09:34:00.000-08:00

Really quick today because we are off to Kelsey's culinary competition in Portland!

Today I am grateful for WEEKENDS! Nuff said!!

Gratitude - Day 5

2010-02-05T12:19:00.000-08:00

Ok, today's might seem a little silly but, today I am thankful for my dishwasher. Actually, I'm thankful for all my appliances. I really do not like to wash dishes so I appreciate being able to just pop them in the dishwasher, turn it on and like magic...clean dishes! I've been pretty fortunate that the only times I didn't have a dishwasher were when we lived in our first apartment (about 3 months) and when we lived in the trailer for two years while remodeling our house. Oh yeah, also when we moved back in we had no kitchen at all for about three months and washed the dishes in the bathtub! I am also thankful not to have to cook over a fire and that I have a refrigerator to keep my food fresh. Silly I know but that's what I'm grateful for today!

Gratitude - Day 4

2010-02-04T10:10:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for grocery shopping. I know, wierd! I actually really don't like to go grocery shopping and it takes everything in me to convice myself to go. The idea of putting the stuff in the cart, taking it out, putting it in bags, putting it in the car and then putting it away makes me want to run screaming but I'm determined to be grateful even for things that I don't like.

I am grateful for the opportunity to go to the grocery store. I am grateful for the many choices that we have available. I am grateful to have money to purchase groceries. I am grateful that I can buy and feed my family good, nutritious food. I am grateful that I don't have to stand in a line hoping that by the time my turn comes that there will still be food left. I am grateful that I don't have to face my children empty handed when their bellies are hungry. Grateful...

Gratitude -Day 3

2010-02-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful that I live here. Here as in the state of Oregon, here as in the city that we live in. I know that there are lots of jokes that it never stops raining here but I love it! Maybe because I was born here and have only briefly lived anywhere else but I love this place. I find rainy days cozy. They make me want to curl up with a book or just do something inside where it's warm and dry. I love that we have seasons. Winter is usually mild with an occasional really cold couple of days. We don't always get much in the way of snow, but we do usually get some every winter. Spring is incredible! Everything is green and fresh and growing and beautiful. Summer is usually mild with an occasional couple of really hot days. Fall is spectacular! The leaves are gorgeous, the air is crisp in the morning and usually warm in the afternoon.

We are also in a great area of the state. It's only an hour to the beach and an hour and a half to the mountains. You can drive an hour to Portland and forty-five minutes to Salem. The high desert is about four hours away as is Seattle. Our city is small but really offers a lot. So, those are a few of the reasons that today I am grateful for where I live!

Gratitude - Day 2

2010-02-02T10:19:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my husband's job. I was reading the prayer list from church for this week and was struck by how many people have prayer requests centered around job issues. I think we have been very blessed in the area of jobs. Since we got married (26+ years ago!) there have been only two times that Kelly has not had a job. When Brittany was born (almost 22 years ago!) he was out of work for about 6 weeks, he received unemployment and then was hired at the bakery where he worked for 11 years. Then when the bakery closed he was out of work for about three months and received a severance. Then, when we were getting concerned about the lack of "family wage" jobs he was told about the job he now has. He was hired by the Dept of Defense and works as a desiel mechanic. He started out making several dollars more an hour than the job he previously had! The commute is kind of sucky but it's a small price to pay for a great job. The hours are great, the benefits are great and in just 10 short years he will retire with a government pension. God has provided greatly for us and I feel blessed...and grateful!

Gratitude - Day 1

2010-02-01T08:30:00.000-08:00

I've seen other bloggers do something like this so I thought I would try it. For this month I am going to attempt to post everyday (yikes)! Since it's February, the shortest month (thank you) and Valentine's Day falls smack dab in the middle, I decided to write about something that I'm grateful for each day. Some days may just be a challenge but here goes!

Today I am grateful for the fact that my kids are almost grown-ups. Sure, some days I miss them being little, but this time in life is pretty nice. The oldest two have moved out and on with their lives and the youngest three are all in High School. This year (except on rare occasions) I don't have to take or pick them up from school, giving me more freedom. It's also nice to be able to leave them home alone and to not have to worry about getting home before school gets out. I can sleep without interruption, don't have to quit what I'm doing to wipe any behinds or get anyone food or a drink. I think if I had only had a couple then maybe I would feel more sad but after having five (and two at once), I feel like it was enough. I do sometimes miss little arms wrapped around my neck and the smell of babies but not enough to do it again and anyway, that's what grandkids are for, right?!

A Cheesy Metaphor

2010-01-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling really down lately. I think it's a combination of the reality of Kelly going back to Iraq after leave, the January blahs, my kids struggling in school and a doctor's appointment that I have on Monday that I'm anxious about.

I was thinking about our family and came up with this kind of cheesy metaphor.

Our family is like a ship. Kelly is the captain, I'm the first mate and the kids are the crew. When everyone is on board, I as the first mate pretty much do everything behind the scenes, making sure that the ship is running smoothly and that the crew are doing their jobs. When the captain is not on board the first mate has to take over the steering of the ship and it's hard to focus on the little thing that keep the ship running. The first mate can step into the captain's job but it's never quite the same. Every day the ship gets just a little more off course and things behind the scenes start to fall apart. Without the first mate to oversee them, the crew starts to goof off, not keeping up with their jobs or doing them with a little less care.

So, right now our family is without the captain and I feel like things are off course and the crew is goofing off. I'm not sure what can be done to fix it except to get the captain back on board. Hopefully we won't be too off course by the time that happens.

Light Bulb (or plug in) Moment

2010-01-27T10:14:00.000-08:00

On Monday I was having a really bad day. Kelly hadn't called since Friday morning which didn't really have me worried so much (well, maybe a little, hello, Iraq!) as just frustrated not knowing why he hadn't called. When I was blow drying my hair my blow dryer quit working. I thought it had died but after some investigation discovered that the plugs in the bathroom weren't working. This is the third time the plugs have quit working which is super frustrating! After thinking about it all day I thought maybe I knew what the problem was. When we wired the upstairs (my dad, Kelly and me) we used the "easy" method of installing the wires into the plugs. You can either push them straight into the back (which is easy and quick) or wrap them around the screws on the sides of the plugs (harder and more time consuming). A couple of years after we finished the remodel I saw either an episode of "This Old House", "Ask This Old House" or an article in the magazine talking about the dangers of using the "easy" method. The wires can come loose or arc and short out and that happened in the other bathroom upstairs. So, I turned off the breaker to the plugs, took the plug out of the wall and I was right. One of the wires had arced and shorted out. I knew what to do to fix it but couldn't remember which way to wrap the wires. So I called my dad (who has worked as a construction contractor) and asked him.

Now for my "light bulb moment". As he is trying to explain it to me and I am trying to understand what he is telling me and trying to get him to understand what I'm asking I realize something. My dad is not a teacher and neither am I. My dad is a "doer". He has a hard time trying to teach and explain things and has little patience if you don't "get" it. I think this has made me hesitant to try things, worrying that I can't do them. Not that I blame my dad, I love my dad and just realize that with my own personality this has shaped this in me. My husband, on the other hand, is a great teacher. He is patient and explains things and doesn't get frustrated if you don't "get" it. In the earlier days of marriage it was like I was competing with him, trying to prove that I could do things for myself and that I didn't need him to teach me anything. It was hard as I came from a family with only girls and we were expected to do thing for ourselves and Kelly came from a family of all boys and if I would ask for help, instead of explaining something he tried to do it for me. This led to some battles. As years have gone by he has realized that I don't need him to come in and take over and I have learned to appreciate that I can learn things from him. It's so awesome how God puts two people who are so opposite from one another together and makes a beautiful, complimentary relationship!

How Can It Be?

2010-01-16T10:28:00.000-08:00

How can it be that my grandson is turning one today? How can it be that I am old enough to even have a grandson, let alone a child old enough to be a parent? Time goes by so fast?

One year ago I was there in the hospital with my daughter and son-in-law when we welcomed Holden to our family. It started out ok, got really scary and then ended up wonderful. After many hours of intense, painful labor the doctor was forced to perform an emergency c-section when Holden's heart rate dropped dramatically. Brittany was put completely under and Nick wasn't even able to be in the operating room. But, the outcome was a perfect, beautiful baby boy!

Because he lived in Missouri and now Texas, and we live in Oregon, it's been a challenge to see him as much as I'd like (every day would work for me!). But between me going there and them coming here I've been able to see him about every three months or so. After having five girls it is so fun to have a little boy! He is so sweet and so much fun and I don't think I could love him any more! Happy Birthday little monkey man, Grandma loves you!

Get Away

2010-01-11T17:47:00.000-08:00

After the craziness of Christmas and Holden's birthday party, Kelly and I went to the beach for a couple of days to be alone. I had found this place in Lincoln City that looked nice and booked it online. Not too much later someone from the hotel called and said that the room I had booked had been double booked but they would like to give us an upgrade! We stayed in a room on the second floor with a balcony over the beach with a fireplace, kitchenette and a double jetted tub with an ocean view!

We checked in Monday afternoon. Tuesday morning we hit Starbucks and then went to the mall. It was really nice to just wander and look (and buy) things without kids asking for things! After the mall we went to Galuccis for our traditional beach pizza and then spent the rest of the evening in our room. I got on Facebook and noticed everyone commenting about snow so I called home and found out that Mac had gotten about five inches of snow on Tuesday!

Wednesday morning we checked the road conditions and saw that the roads were clear so we checked out and got our Starbucks again. We sat in the parking lot at Road's End, watching the ocean, drove around and dreamed of buying a beach house, had lunch and came home. It was so nice to have some time to ourselves before he headed back to Iraq!

Holden's 1st Birthday Party

2010-01-11T09:13:00.000-08:00

Holden doesn't actually turn 1 until January 16th, but because Kelly was home from Iraq and all of Nick and Brittany's family is here, we decided to celebrate his birthday a couple of weeks early. We rented Scotty's Playhouse and ordered 10 pizzas, made 100 cupcakes and partied. The kids all had a great time playing on the play structure and I enjoyed the fact that it wasn't at my house!

Christmas

2010-01-11T08:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas was pretty crazy but wonderful this year. Kelly arrived home from Iraq on the 20th and Nick, Brittany, Holden and the two dogs arrived from Texas on the 21st! Not wanting to be left out (and who could blame her!), Lindsay came and stayed while everyone was home. So, we had eight adults, one BUSY little boy and three dogs in our house for two weeks.

The guard dogs

Emptying the cupboards

Kelly got home in time for he and I to take a trip to the mall to finish up the shopping. Christmas morning we got up, Kelsey made cinnamon rolls and everyone opened presents. The we went to my aunt and uncle's house in Albany for dinner with my family.

Holden opening presents

Rilee and Holden Christmas Day

The family

Olivia and Kelsey playing a game

I Have a 25 Year Old!

2009-12-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

Well, Lindsay, you're 25 today! I can't believe how fast these past 25 years have gone. It seems like it wasn't too long ago we were bringing you home from the hospital to this same house (although it's changed quite a bit!). Your dad thought we needed to keep the house at about 85 degrees until I convinced him that you would be fine with a sleeper and a blanket and a "normal" temperature! I know it hasn't been easy to be the oldest and have to pave the way for your four younger sisters and that we've had our share of "issues" over the years but I hope you know that no matter how hard things have been between us that I always love you no matter what! I am very proud of the person you have become. You have always been compassionate toward others, always concerned about fairness and a being a good friend. As someone who usually only had one or two close friends it has always amazed me how you are surrounded by so many people that you are good friends with. I know that you worry about not being where you think you should be in life at this stage but I hope you realize that you are right where you are supposed to be and God has a wonderful plan for your life and I can't wait to see what it turns out to be! Happy Birthday my first-born, I love you with all my heart!

Fort Hood

2009-11-06T10:08:00.000-08:00

I can't stop thinking about what happened at Ft Hood yesterday. It is so hard to comprehend how someone could do something so unspeakable. First, to do it at all. Second, to do it to your fellow soldiers and civilians working with soldiers. Third, having been a psychiatrist, entrusted with people who are possibly mentally fragile, to betray the trust that should exist between a doctor and patient, especially a fellow soldier. I can't imagine the horror of waiting to find out if your loved one was involved. It will take a long time for people to recover from this. I read a quote from a soldier who said that overseas, you are ready for it, but here you can't even defend yourself. I would think that it would be a pretty helpless feeling, especially to have been deployed, to not be able to do anything when you have been trained to defend yourself and your fellow soldiers.
One thing about a military base, it's kind of like a big family in a way. I've never lived on a base since my husband has only been in the Guard, not the active Army, but when we have spent time on bases it feels comforting to me. With being in the Guard, everyone lives "regular" lives for the most part and your friends and neighbors don't get it. When you are on a base, you're a part of a shared experience. You're surrounded by people who "get" it. People know what your feeling and experiencing because they have been there. Out here in the regular world you feel like a minority. Most people that you come in contact have no idea what it's like to have your family member leave for a year or worry about whether they will come home and when they do come home will life be the same as before or different. On a base, everyone around you is, has, or will go through it and it's comforting.
I'm glad the people at Ft Hood have the support of their community and they will be on my mind and heart and in my prayers!

Honesty

2009-11-04T18:45:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I feel bored. I have no reason to feel this way, there are plenty of things to do. It was a gorgeous day today and I could have been outside raking leaves, cleaning the car or going for a walk (I did clean the gutters). There are plenty of things to do inside too. Laundry, dishes, rooms that need a through cleaning, vacuuming that needs to be done, dust that is accumulating. I just don't feel like doing anything and yet I feel bored. I sit at the computer but I'm bored with Facebook, Blogger, playing games. I think I feel bored mentally and I guess I'm just in a funk. I have so many things that I want to do but can't seem to get motivated to start. There are rooms that I want to paint, decorating that I want to do, crafts that I have the supplies for.

I'm also frustrated with my kids and school. They are behind in so many classes. Between being gone on vacation and being sick, they have lots of missing assignments and tests to make up. I care, but I also don't. That sounds awful but I am tired. Tired of being the one to bug them to do their chores and homework, tell them to go to bed, tell them to get up in the morning, listen to whining about being tired. Wow, as I typed that I thought of all the bloggers I read who have lost their children who would love to have to do these things. I guess I'm just tired of doing all these things alone. Really, honestly, I think I'm just lonely. Lonely for my husband. Nothing else can fill the void that is left without him here. So, I will just have to keep moving forward one day at a time until he comes home.

Vacation!!

2009-11-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, 10/7, Kelsey, Chloey, Shelby and I flew from Portland to Las Vegas. We picked up our rental car and hit the road for Apple Valley, CA to spend three nights with my friend Teal and her family. Her kids were out of school on their fall break so we spent the time just hanging out, relaxing, talking, eating and having a great time!

On Thursday, the girls and I drove about 45 minutes to San Bernadino to meet up with our friends, the Balls, who are the directors of the Salvation Army in SB. We went to lunch and got a tour of their facilities, including the new shelter they are building for families. They have an awesome ministry there!

Saturday, 10/10, the girls and I set out to return to Las Vegas (with the obligatory stop at In-n-Out, of course).

We stayed at the Southpoint Spa and Casino for three nights. The Southpoint is a few miles away from the strip, which I liked. To me, the strip is mostly an adult place and I wanted to do things that were "kid friendly". The hotel had a bowling alley, a movie theater, a swimming pool and an equestrian center, all on site. It was also in an area where we were able to easily go to the store or for food.

On Sunday morning we went to Red Rock Canyon which was really cool.

Then in the afternoon we went to the equestrian center where they were having a cutting competition.

Monday morning we went to Hoover Dam where we went on the power house tour and walked around with all the other tourists.

In the afternoon we went to a movie at the hotel and then drove down the strip so the girls could see all the lights and sights.

Tuesday morning we turned in our rental car and the girls flew home and I flew to El Paso, TX to spend a week with Brittany, Nick and Holden. I spent the week enjoying the baby, helping Brittany continue to unpack and just relaxing.

Tuesday, 10/13, Brittany and Holden dropped me off at the airport. While I was in line to board the plane, Brittany called and said that on their way home they had been in an accident. Thankfully no one was hurt. Britt was in a lane of traffic that turns into a turn only lane and was waiting to merge into traffic when an older woman totally plowed into the back of her car! The woman actually tried to offer Brittany $50 and did not give Brittany her insurance information. Thankfully, the police arrived and the woman was cited for having an expired insurance card and either failing to yield or something. She kept trying to say that Brittany cut her off, which was ridiculous! Anyway, the insurance companies are involved now and hopefully their car will be fixed before they leave to drive here for Christmas!

Except for the ending, we had an awesome vacation! It was a great way to break up the time between school starting and Kelly coming home for leave in December!

What's Happening

2009-10-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

It seems I haven't had much to write about lately, life just seems to be going on. We are getting back into the routine of school. I am enjoying not having to take or pick up anyone this year now that they are all in the same school and Kelsey drives. I'm kind of missing art class this term. I decided to wait until Winter Term to start because I am going to miss two weeks and I would have gotten too far behind.

I'm taking the three girls on a trip next week. Wednesday, 10/7 we are flying to Las Vegas, renting a car and driving to my friend Teal's house to stay with her and her family for a couple of days. While we're there I am hoping to pop over to my friend Nancy's for lunch one day. I'm looking forward to just relaxing, swimming in the pool and talking! On Saturday, 10/10 we are driving back to Vegas where we are staying until Tuesday, 10/13. The hotel we are staying in has an equestrian arena where they are having horse events while we are there, there is also a bowling alley and a movie theater. I am also hoping to take the girls to see the dam and maybe go on a hike or two. Tuesday morning the girls are flying home where they will be picked up at the airport by my mother and I am flying to El Paso to visit Brittany, Nick and Holden for a week. The girls are only missing three days of school so it seemed like a good time to get away. It also breaks up the time before Kelly's leave in December.

I worry about Kelly. I know he doesn't get enough sleep. The job that he has keeps him working seven days a week. The other day he told me that he got to bed at 11, someone woke him up at 12 needing stuff (linen, etc.) to set up their room, again at 3 he was woken up with people needing rooms and then had to get up at 5. I know it can't be good for him to function on so little sleep. He is 50! Anyway, I just keep counting the days til he comes home and life can go back to "normal". 7 more months!

Kelsey's 17th Birthday

2009-09-11T21:33:00.001-07:00

Kelsey, my middle child, the baby I begged God for, you turn 17 today! After losing baby #3 it took a year before we were finally expecting again. It was a difficult and emotional time and I was so happy that God had seen fit to answer my prayers for another baby. I got enormous and the doctor told me that he thought you would weigh 10 pounds. Thankfully he was wrong! A beautiful 8 lb 11 1/2 oz baby girl was born on September 12th, 13 days overdue, exactly a week after my birthday. You made life pretty interesting, it seems you were always into something! Looking back, I think that you have just always had an extreme curiousity about everything. You always had to know how everything worked and were never satisfied with a simple explanation. I know that it wasn't easy having two little sisters come along when you were only 2 1/2 but you have been a great big sister! You have grown into a thoughtful, caring, helpful, creative and beautiful young woman. I feel so blessed that God chose me to be your mother. Happy Birthday my beautiful blue-eyed girl, Kelseebee!

Birthday

2009-09-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

Well, today is my 45th birthday. Wow, that seems so crazy to think that I am halfway through my 40s! To be honest though, I feel better physically and mentally and better about myself in general than I did in my 20s or 30s. Sometimes I feel so mad at myself for "wasting" those years feeling depressed and down on myself but I have to remind myself that those years brought me here to where I am today and that's a pretty darn good place. I do wish I could go back and tell my younger self to take better care of myself. To eat better, to exercise, to work out the issues that kept me feeling down on myself, but I choose to look forward not backward. I'm thankful for this time of life. I'm eating better, trying to exercise regularly, feeling better about my body, enjoying having the freedom that "almost" grown-up kids bring. I'm happier than ever with my relationship with my husband. We are kind of "rediscovering" each other after years of raising kids. I think that these long separations have made us appreciate each other more. I know that it has for me. I want to enjoy every minute that we have to spend together. I want to do so many things right now. I want to take some more art classes and discover just what I am best at. Taking art last year really awakened the creative side of me that had been kind of pushed down for so many years. I also want to learn to kayak and scuba dive and travel. I just want to appreciate all the important things in life that aren't things: family, love, time, etc. I feel like maybe this is like the half-way point in my life and I want to make the second half the best it can be! Happy Birthday to me!!

Reality Take 2

2009-08-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

Well, Kelly has been in Iraq for less than two months and already several convoys have been hit by roadside bombs, explosives, etc. The last one I wrote about was a young guy who lost a leg and was injured pretty badly. This last time (on Friday, 8/28) two soldiers were killed and one injured. The two killed were a 19 year old boy (I say "boy" because, in my opinion a 19 yr old is still a boy) and a 38 year old husband and father of one. It seems so senseless. I don't know which is more tragic, a young kid, just starting out, with his whole life ahead of him or a man who leaves behind a wife and son who have to find a way to live their lives without him. I think they are equally tragic, each in their own way. I have such mixed feelings. On the one hand I am thankful that my husband is safe (or as safe as he can be in Iraq), but also feel guilty for feeling that when other families lose the people that they love. None of it makes much sense to me. I just want this to end so Kelly and every other soldier can come home and no other family has to go through this horrible ordeal. If only.... Eight more months. I wonder how many more of these "reality" posts I will write before then...tragic and sad.

My Grandson is Here!

2009-08-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, August 18, we took Kelsey to the airport to fly to El Paso to visit Brittany, Nick and Holden. On Tuesday, August 25, Kelsey, Brittany and Holden flew from El Paso to Portland to visit for two weeks. They will be here until Wednesday, September 9.

We picked up Chinese on the way home and stopped at my parent's house and had dinner with them so they could see Britt and the baby.

Wednesday we talked to Kelly on the computer, went to Wal-mart and went grocery shopping.

Thursday we all packed into the Suburban and road tripped it to Lincoln City where we met up with my parents, my sister Joanna, three of her kids, my sister Julie and her husband Dennis and their three girls. We hung out at the beach, the kids swam in the pool at the condo that J&D were staying at and had dinner all together (taking up four tables) at Gallucci's. It was foggy and a little cool but everyone had a great time and came home tired and a little sunburned.

Friday and Saturday we stayed home and recuperated and today (Sunday) we went to church and then visited my grandpa (Holden's great-great grandpa) at the nursing home where he is staying right now. So far we've had a busy time and tomorrow we are off to the mall to do back-to-school shopping!

My Little Miracle

2009-08-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

A week and a half ago on Sunday, I got home from church and went out to work in the yard. I had worn my diamond earrings to church and didn't take them off when I came home (like I usually do). My wonderful, thoughtful and sweet husband had bought me a pair of diamond earrings for Christmas when he came home from Afghanistan. I got done working and came in the house to clean up and when I looked in the mirror, one of them was gone! The back was still stuck to my ear but the earring was no where to be found. The girls came out and helped me look all over but we couldn't find it. Ever since then, I have gone out, praying to God to help me find it, looking when the sun is shining (thinking I might see it sparkle). I have been walking around, looking down, literally praying for a miracle. Today we were getting ready to go to the airport and it was about 10 minutes before we left and I thought I would look again, just for the heck of it. I walked down the grass on the side of the house (which I had just mowed yesterday), praying "God, please help me find the earring, if I found it, it would truly be a miracle". Just as I finished saying that (in my head), I looked down and there it was, lying on it's side in the grass that I had just mowed! So, that is the story of my little miracle that God performed for me today and I can't tell you how thankful I am to Him!

Reality

2009-08-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

*Warning* this post is not a happy, uplifting one!

Yesterday, (Fri) when I talked to Kelly he told me that he wasn't able to call the day before because there had been a "blackout". When an incident occurs (either someone is wounded or killed) the internet and phones are blocked so no one can get information out before the family has been notified. He told me very basic details about a roadside bomb that hit a convoy from their base. A young (22) Spec 4 had lost a leg in the attack. It was someone that Kelly knew and had introduced me to when I was in Georgia. Sadly, I can't say that I specifically remember him though because he did introduce me to a lot of people. The story about him was on the front page of the Oregonian today telling the details of what happened. He lost a leg, the toes on his other foot and a finger. I knew basically what had happened, but when I saw it in the paper it really made me feel like throwing up. While Kelly was in Afghanistan a guy he knew was killed in an ambush at a checkpoint so I know in my head the realities of what can happen and does happen but this just made it so much more real. I also keep thinking about him only being 22. I guess that can be good and bad. Good in that he is young and healthy and will probably adapt quickly to a prosthetic. Bad in that he is young and healthy and his life is forever changed. I also worry for the other young soldiers. The ones who were with him on the convoy and the ones who just knew him. It's hard enough to deal with when you are older, more mature and experienced but so many of them are SO young. Needless to say, he, his family and all his fellow soldiers will be constantly in my thoughts and prayers for a long while.

Anniversary

2009-08-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

26 years ago today...you and me became "we".

You have always been my best friend and the person I want to be with most in the whole world. You have always provided for me and our family and have always made me feel protected, safe, adored, sexy, talented, beautiful and most of all LOVED!

I'm so glad that we've taken this journey together. We've had jobs and no jobs, money and no money, driven crappy cars, lived in interesting places, been on some interesting and scary adventures, made some beautiful babies together and endured long separations (like right now!). But through it all we have been a team, working together to make our marriage and family the best we could make it. Thank you for loving me and being my partner for the past 26 years and many, many more to come!

I'm looking forward to being able to celebrate together next year!

I LOVE YOU!!!

Block Party

2009-08-04T09:58:00.000-07:00

Last night was our neighborhood block party. We have had a party for the past maybe 12? years, except the year one of our neighbors died a couple of days before the party. We have only missed a couple times when we scheduled our vacation for the same time.

We live in such a great neighboorhood. We moved here in November of 1984 when I was 8 months pregnant with Lindsay. We had been married for just over a year and this 1200 sq ft, 3 bedroom, 2 bath house seemed huge! We planned to stay for maybe five years and then buy some acreage in the country. Well, that never happened and here we are almost 25 years later!

We have the greatest neighbors. Most of the people on our block (and it's really a double long block) have been here since the neighborhood began. Several of them are the only owners of their homes! When the kids were little it was kind of hard to live in a place where there were really no kids, almost everyone is my parent's age or older. But the benefit is that it is quiet, well kept, safe and most of all, friendly. I am happy to say that I know everyone on our block. Some just slightly and most very well.

When our family grew to seven and we were feeling like sardines in this house that used to seem so big we decided that we either had to move or remodel. We looked for something else but were sad to leave our wonderful neighborhood. So, we decided to remodel. We added a second story to our home and now it is twice the size it was before. We now have a 2400 sq ft home with 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. I feel like we have the best of both worlds, a home we can comfortably live in and we didn't have to leave this wonderful neighborhood and our great neighbors!

Birthday Boy!

2009-08-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Kelly! How can it be that you are 50 today? 50? When did "middle age" happen? I wish you were here so we could have a great big party to celebrate or go on a great get-away, just the two of us, but...you are spending your birthday in the"sand box" on the other side of the world.

The first birthday of yours that we spent together was your 21st. I remember that you invited me and my family to your parent's house for your birthday dinner. Your mom made cottage cheese dumplings which sounded so strange but were really good. I don't think that I have ever had them since. Maybe I will ask her for the recipe and make them when you come home.

It seems like you've spent more of your birthdays since then away from home than here to celebrate. I think most of the time you were at either AT or drill for your birthday and our anniversary and yet I don't ever remember you complaining about it (I know that I would have!)

So, on this day that you celebrate a half-century (!) of life, know that I appreciate the wonderful person that you are, I miss you, and most of all that I love you so much!

My world is a better place because you are in it! I love you and Happy Birthday!

Iraq Update

2009-07-31T20:34:00.000-07:00

So, I've talked to Kelly I think maybe four times since he arrived in Iraq. He called this morning which was a nice change. It was nice to talk to him when I'm not half asleep so I can actually carry on a conversation. Apparently the Chief (his friend the Warrent Officer) has a DSN phone in his office that Kelly can use. With a DSN phone you call a number and they connect you with someone locally (Portland or Salem) who then forwards the call to the number that you are trying to reach. Usually you have a 20 minute time limit when with out warning they just disconnect you. Fortunately, for some reason, the phone he uses doesn't do that so we are able to have a nice, long conversation.

He is at a base called Al-Assad and is getting situated in his CHU (his conex home). He said it is a little bigger than the one he had in Afghanistan but has less in it. He is busy buying things from the group from Texas that is leaving. I know that he bought a bicycle, and a TV and DVD player. Apparently they have AFN (Armed Forces Network) cable in their rooms. He is trying to find an antenna for his laptop that he can put outside to pick up the wireless internet signal so he can finally get on the internet. The signal isn't strong enough to penetrate the metal walls of his CHU so he's hoping an antenna will help and he wants to get it before he starts paying $60 a month for internet.

He told me that his jobs at this point are:

1. He is the NCOIC (Noncomissioned Officer in Charge) of the convoy academy. Working with the Texas Guard (who are leaving) to coordinate the transfer of the academy to the Oregon Guard. He will be making sure that they have instructors and making sure that they are doing what needs to be done.

2. He is the NCOIC for the BNOC (basic noncommissioned officers course) doing test administration. He taught this course for several years while he was with the Military Academy.

3. Assisting the Chief who is the "mayor" of the CHU and is responsible for 400+ housing units.

So, needless to say, he is busy! It has been, of course, extremely hot there with temps well above 100. They have also been having sand storms which make life pretty miserable.

Hopefully, his time to be out on convoys will be very minimal. I know that he will be out there sometimes but the less the better. Especially after reading today that soldiers from their group who are at a different base have already had two roadside bombs go off. Thankfully no one was hurt!

So, that's the most that I know for now. I will write more when I know more!

Kelly's in Iraq

2009-07-27T13:37:00.000-07:00

Well, he has finally arrived in Iraq. He was supposed to leave Kuwait on the 26th but got moved up to the 24th. We were gone camping so he couldn't call and let me know. I finally got a call from him on the evening of the 25th. He didn't give me a lot of info, our connection got cut off three times and he had to call back. I'm not sure how we are going to communicate, apparently the USO phones at his base are not free like they were in Kuwait and the internet is interesting, to say the least. From what he has been told they used to have "hard line" internet on the base but had too much trouble with people "stealing" it so they did away with that and now have wireless. Unfortunatly the wireless is spotty at best so he's not sure about paying $60 a month for that. Anyway, he was supposed to call me Sunday morning but I haven't heard anything yet. I'm trying to be patient, it's just so hard when I don't know what's going on!

Camping 2009

2009-07-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

Every year (except last year when we went to the beach) for the past like 14 (?) years my family (my parents, my sisters, sometimes hubbys and all the kids) go to Foster Lake near Sweet Home, OR for a camping trip. We normally stay for three nights. My requirements for camping include showers and flush toilets! The bad thing is that over the years it has apparently become more well known and has become very busy. We got there Monday night and by Wednesday they had put up the "campground full" sign. This year was interesting. My parents went with their camper, since Kelly is gone it is just the girls and I, Julie and Dennis just had Rilee so they sent Cassie and Hailey with me and came for one day, and Joanna and her kids came.

Monday night at about 11pm a group of kids drove in the campground in a very noisy truck and apparently came just to party. They made noise until about 4am when they packed up their stuff and left. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep that night. Tuesday the boys fished, all the kids swam and we all hung out. Tuesday night at about 11:30pm the lady in the group across from us had a medical emergency so we had an ambulance idling outside our tent for about an hour (she had apparently had a reaction to some medication). Wednesday we hung out some more, kids swam, boys fished, ect. Thursday we packed up and came home. Three nights is about perfect for me. I'm really ready to be in my own bed, steps from my own potty and able to take a shower without worrying if the hot water will last.

So, another camping trip, another summer almost gone by.

He's in Kuwait

2009-07-12T13:19:00.000-07:00

So, like I said in the last post, Kelly left Georgia on Friday, July 10. From there he flew to Canada, Iceland and Germany before touching down in Kuwait. I think he said it was like 27 hours or something, most of them in the air! He called yesterday, 7/11 at about 3pm or so. The girls and I had gone to Turkey Rama with a friend thinking if he called it would be later in the evening (when it was morning in Kuwait). But no, he called at 1am his time! Apparently they got there at like 10pm and after getting "settled" he went to find the phones and found a two hour wait! Lucky for him rank has priviledges so he went to their "TOC" (tactical operations center) where he found a phone that was less in demand. They are limited to 20 minute calls though. Anyway, he called back this morning at 7am while I was in the shower. I had taken the phone in the bathroom with me hoping he might call after I got out of the shower or something but no, he called right when I was totally soapy, had conditioner in my hair and had just put soap on my face. The phone rings and I know it has to be him so I try to reach around the shower wall to the counter on the other side of the shower, lose my balance, fall out of the shower onto the floor taking the shower curtain with me! When I told him what had happened he did call back a few minutes later when I had a chance to replace the curtain and rinse off!

He told me that when they arrived in Kuwait the "advanced party" people were still there! They left Georgia on about the 15th of June and were supposed to go ahead to Iraq to have everything set up for the "main body". Apparently the Marines who run the base where they will be are still trying to get ready for them and so now their whole Brigade will end up in Kuwait. I don't know if they will all go to Iraq at the same time or if they will stagger them (most likely). Also, Kelly did get bumped from the cargo plane he was hoping to fly on because they had issues with the weight of the load. He flew on the regular flight with all the "joes"(as he calls them).
When the people on the cargo flight got there he found out that they had to layover in Italy and the layover was so long that they had to get rooms and some people didn't have money, etc., so he was glad he didn't fly with them.

The temperature in Kuwait is a lovely 108 - 110. He said it's like turning on the blowdryer on "hot" and blowing it in your face. Fun times!

The Next Phase

2009-07-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

I am getting really tired of writing negative posts. Hopefully things will improve.

Kelly left this morning for Kuwait. All day yesterday I cried or got teary every time I would think about him. (and it's happening right now!) Today I went through the drive-up at the bank and my friend there asked me about him and I said that he left today and then I had to tell her that I couldn't talk about it anymore because everytime I do I start to cry! He called me at 7am while he was at the airport in GA waiting to board the plane. We talked for a while and then he said he would call me later because they were flying to Maine. Later he texted me as they were taking off and told me that they were actually flying to Canada...so no phone call. If I had known I would have talked to him longer when he called! He sent me an e-mail from the airport in Canada and told me that he wasn't sure when he would be able to contact me again. This is the part that was so frustrating when he went to Afghanistan. We had really no form of communication for a while except for sporadic e-mails. It's so hard when I usually talk to him at least once a day.

Anyway, I am tired of feeling like I am swimming through mush. I don't know if that makes any sense but I just feel so tired and have no interest in doing anything. I keep telling myself to stop but I also am trying not to stuff my feelings this time, so...it's kind of crazy. Do I make myself stop feeling depressed or just go with it and feel it? I don't know. We will see what tomorrow brings I guess...

Baby Rilee Arrived Today!

2009-07-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

This morning my sister, Julie and her husband, Dennis had their first baby. Little Rilee Kennedy arrived at 8:34 am, weighing 7 lbs 10 oz and was 21 1/2" long. She has a cute, round little face and dark black hair. She has two older sisters, Cassie (15) and Hailey (14) from Julie's first marriage and is now the 12th grandchild on my side of the family. There are now 10 girls and 2 boys. Oh yeah, girls rule, boys drool! She is also almost six months younger than my grandson! Following are some pictures for your enjoyment!!

Finally an Update on Kelly

2009-07-04T10:43:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't believe it's been two months since I wrote anything about Kelly! I figured the 4th of July was an appropriate time to do so.

Part of the reason that I haven't written anything before this is that things have been difficult and changes have happened that I wasn't ready to put out there until it had all settled.

Ok, Kelly arrived at Ft. Stewart, GA on the 7th of May and things continued to be challenging with his Sergeant Major (SGM). Every time that I talked to him he was so stressed and tired, trying to do everything expected of him and more. It was really a difficult time for Kelly to become a 1st Sergeant (1SG). He didn't get to go to 1SG school, he had never had the 1SG role before, he was coming into a Company that was new to him and that was deploying on top of it all! Not the best time to do on-the-job training! There was also a Master Sergeant (MSG) who had expressed his desire to spend time in-country as a 1SG and the SGM had planned to have he and Kelly switch duties half way through the deployment. (Note: a 1SG and a MSG are the same rank (E-8) they just have different duties) Anyway, in mid-June the SGM had a meeting with Kelly and told him that he was switching them at that time. It was so difficult. I knew that he was feeling like maybe he had failed to live up to expectations but he was also so relieved to be out from the pressure. When he told me I could really sense his stress level had come down a lot. (There are a lot of under lying things that have started coming to light recently that make us believe that this didn't really have anything to do with Kelly or his abilities)

So, now he is a MSG and is working as an Operations NCO. Their mission in Iraq is Convoy and Base Security so as the Ops NCO he will be working to coordinate convoys, etc. Much less stress! One benefit of his new duty position is that when I went to visit 6/22 he had the ability to spend lots of time with me. If he had still been the 1SG I doubt that I would have seen him much! (you can read about our adventures in the previous posts)

The plan at this point is that he is leaving for Iraq in less that two weeks (I can't give the exact day for security reasons). He requested and at this point has been assigned to fly on one of the cargo planes as a "pallet rider" instead of flying with all the troops. I was surprised, thinking that they would be sitting in the cargo hold in the jump seats but he told me that on the these planes there is an area above the cargo hold that has nice cushy, reclining seats. Figures!

Anyway, the next post will probably be when he arrives in Kuwait. Following are some pictures that I took of the area where is lives and trains at Ft. Stewart.

Vacation Part 2 - Georgia Days 2 +

2009-07-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

Wednesday morning we headed to South Carolina to visit our nephew Josh's wife, Marcella and their sweet little girl, Aurelia. (Josh was away training in Virginia) We had a nice visit and went to lunch.

Entering SC

After leaving there we drove to Hilton Head. For me, really a disappointment. The houses are so close together that you can't even see the ocean and between each house are signs that say "no parking" and "private beach".

Hilton Head

After leaving there we decided to drive out to Tybee Island, GA ( just past Savannah). I was determined to dip my toes in the Atlantic Ocean! We got there, paid to park (crazy) and found a restaurant. We told the waitress that we were going to sit outside and after 20 minutes with no one coming out we left. We walked down to the beach were I walked in the ocean. It is so weird to this Oregon girl to walk in warm ocean water!

After leaving the beach we decided to try this place called "The Crab Shack" so we plugged it into the GPS and after driving down a small residential street we came to this really awesome place. It was really big with indoor, screened in seating and outdoor seating on a deck next to an inlet. There was an alligator pond where kids could feed alligators (the alligator food looked like dog treats) using poles with strings attached.

When we got our table we were seated in the outdoor area! It was a gorgeous night, warm and not humid with the lights in the trees and the noise of whatever kind of bugs, frogs, etc. you always hear in the South at night. We ordered the special which is Low Country Boil. It was amazing!

Thursday afternoon I got on the computer to do my online check-in for my flight Friday and it kept telling me that it couldn't check me in because my flight was more than 24 hours from then. Finally I called the 800 number for the airline and listened to the recording that said "your flight scheduled for JULY 26th....July?...yes, I am that stupid! I scheduled my return flight for July 26th instead of June 26th! So, many phone calls later I was rescheduled to return on Sunday (Saturday would have cost $800 more!), added two days to my rental car and hotel room and paid $250 more for my flight (worth every cent to spend two more days with my sweet hubby!). I spent the next three days hanging out in the room and going places on post with Kelly when he had free time. Saturday night we went with a friend of his out to dinner at Chilli's (they actually got to leave the base and wear "real people" clothes!). Sunday morning I got up at 2:00 am, drove to the airport, turned in my rental car and flew home. I got home at 11:00 am and it felt so good to walk out the airport doors and breathe cool, fresh air! It was an amazing, wonderful trip and Kelly and I even talked about going back to the Savannah area for vacation sometime!

Vacation Part 2 - Georgia Day 1

2009-07-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, continuing from the last post...Brittany, Holden and I were at the St. Louis airport. I checked my bag and was told that my flight was delayed an hour so we went to Starbucks to have a drink and a snack, then sat outside the security area for awhile. While we were sitting there I overheard two flight attendants walking by say something about a flight being cancelled. I found a flight info board and found out that it was my flight! So, we went back up to the check in desk, waited in line and was told that the first available flight was not until 6:20 pm! I asked to be put on the stand-by list and told Britt that she might as well go home because I had to be on the other side of security to wait for flights. I was able to get them to rebook me on the 5:30 pm flight and remained on stand-by for earlier ones. When the 3:20 flight was getting ready to board they made an announcement that the airport in Atlanta was experiencing some weather issues and was completely shut down! The 3:20 flight ended up taking off about 10 minutes before the 5:30 flight and I got on as stand-by. When we arrived in Atlanta is was absolute chaos! My flight to Savannah was at 10:50 pm, we boarded on time and then sat on the tarmac for 1/2 hour while they changed the direction for take-off! When we arrived in Savannah it was midnight and the car rental counter was about to close so I rushed there, got my car and headed out for Ft. Stewart. I had planned my arrival for 2:30 pm so it would still be light out and I could navigate in the daylight but so much for plans! I arrived at Ft. Stewart at about 1:00 am, found Kelly and our room and went to bed...for about three hours until the alarm clock in the room went off at 5! We finally got it turned off and went back to sleep until about 9.

Kelly was given a 60 hour pass so we had all day Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday morning to spend without any interruptions.

Tuesday morning we stopped off at Starbucks, went to Wal-Mart and bought a GPS for the car and headed out to see the sights. First we went to Savannah and drove around the city. We stopped at a cemetary in the middle of town and walked around for awhile, had lunch at a funky little place called "The Mellow Mushroom". It was decorated in a 60's theme and played 60's music. It was pretty fun. We did forget to put money in the parking meter and ended up getting a $15 ticket (within 10 minutes of parking). After we left Savannah, we went to a movie.

Vacation Part 1 - Missouri

2009-07-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

Part one of my trip began with me flying out at 12:30 am on Monday, 6/15. Got to Minneapolis airport for my layover and went to the gate for the next leg of my flight. After sitting there alone for about 1/2 hour I looked at my ticket again and realized that I had looked at my seat number! I found the right gate (after a lot of walking) and when I got there the departing flight was not for St. Louis. I looked on the flight info board and saw that now my flight was leaving from a gate in "C" concourse and I was in "A". After walking probably a mile in the stupid airport I found the right gate with just a few minutes to spare before boarding began! When I got to St. Louis, Nick and Britt were late because of an accident on the interstate so I hung out at Starbucks until they arrived. It was pouring rain the first day that I was there and that night there was thunder, lightning and driving rain. Next morning it was kind of humid but still cool enough for Brittany, Holden and I to take a walk and play on the playground.

We spent the week pretty much hanging around the house because it was so humid it was miserable to do anything outside! Saturday I babysat Holden while Nick and Brittany went to a movie and out to dinner for Father's Day. Oh, how I love this baby boy! He is such a good, happy baby and so much fun!

Sunday we had planned to drive up to Lake of the Ozarks State Park where they have swimming beaches and a cave to tour. We wanted to take the dogs with us so I got on the parks website to see if dogs were allowed. To my surprise I read that all the beaches and the cave was closed due to flooding! So, we went to a park next to a river on post where we could swim. The first place we went to the current was so strong we could just wade. Then we moved to another place where the water was calm but the bank was so muddy that to get in the water you pretty much had to slide down on your backside. I stayed out of the water and was so sweaty by the time we left that I felt like I had been swimming!

Monday morning Brittany, Holden and I left for the airport at 5:15 am for my 9:30 flight. Then the story gets really crazy. You'll have to the read Vacation Part 2 - Georgia for that!

Father's Day

2009-06-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to write a little something about the dads in my life.

My dad is a great dad. He knows how to do almost everything. He is truly a "jack of all trades". I think that he has become a better father since becoming a grandfather. When we were growing up I think he was so focused on making a living and all the stuff he had to do that he didn't really take the time to appreciate the family that he had. He definately enjoys being a grandfather and now a great-grandfather!

My hubby is the greatest dad. He is very involved with the girls and loves spending time with them and teaching them stuff. He has always been very "hands on". He was always there getting up with them in the night, feeding them, changing them, entertaining them while I was trying the get things done, etc. When Lindsay and Brittany were little he worked swing shift for a while and would get them ready and take them to the babysitter. He really got into fixing their hair, crimping, braiding, whatever he could come up with. When the twins were newborns he slept with them on the hide-a-bed in the family room for a couple weeks so I could get some sleep. He came from a family of five boys with no sisters and ended up a father to five daughters! I remember when the girls were smaller, people said to me "you are so lucky that your husband is so helpful". Well, if he wasn't, I wouldn't have had five kids! He is the most helpful, unselfish, loving person I know and I couldn't be happier that he chose me and I chose him. Happy Father's Day to my wonderful husband! I love you!!

On a Postive Note...

2009-06-07T17:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, sorry for the last post, I was having a really rough time for a while. Things have been better the past couple of weeks. I think that a lot of it has to do with the weather. I'm not usually one of those people who are affected by the weather but these are not normal times. The past couple of weeks have been so awesome! I have been working outside in the yard for hours on end and have gotten quite a lot accomplished (of course there is still a lot to do!) and it has made me feel much better.
I still feel like I've shut off a little but I'm trying not to just "go through the motions" every day. It seems like it's so much harder this time with Kelly gone. Maybe I just don't remember the last time as clearly.
I'm leaving next Sunday/Monday (12:30 am) to fly to Missouri to see Brittany, Nick and Holden. I can't wait to see that baby boy, I miss him so much!! I am going to stay there for a week, then fly to Georgia to spend a few days with Kelly before he leaves for Iraq. He has requested a pass while I'm there so hopefully that will work out. I am really hoping that we can go to Savannah and do some sight-seeing. It's going to be so hard to come home and know that I won't see him again for probably at least 6 months when he has leave but I'm thankful for this opportunity to see him before he leaves!

It's Starting, I Can Feel It...

2009-05-22T21:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm going to try not to sound too whiny, self-involved or whatever and I'm going to try not to cry while I write this, we'll see...

I can feel myself starting to shut down. I don't think I realized that I did it while Kelly was in Afghanistan until he came home but this time I am really aware of it. I feel almost emotionally dead inside. I have been wondering if this is a little like what abuse victims do, detach themselves emotionally to survive. Not that this compares to someone who has been abused by any stretch of the imagination. If it is even a little like that I can't imagine living your life that way. One year at a stretch is hard enough.

I'm not sure how to get through this without shutting down. I'm afraid that if I don't that I will cry ALL THE TIME! I'm not even sure how to put into words what I'm trying to say. I am not a "touchy-feely" person, except when it comes to my husband. (oh boy, the crying has begun!) He, on the other hand, is a very "touchy-feely" person. He's a hugger, big time! Me, not so much, except for him and I miss that SO much. Sometimes I just feel like a robot on autopilot, just getting through each day. People ask me how I'm doing and I just smile and say "ok" but I really feel like screaming!

I especially hate that it's not fair to my girls. They need me to be present and whole and I just don't know how to do it. I don't want them to have to spend another year without their dad. So much changes and so much happens in a year.

Then that voice in my head tells me to suck it up, drive on and get over it. At least I have a husband, at least my kids have a father, it's only a year, you're not the only one who is or has gone through it, at least your kids aren't small, you're not having a baby, etc..... Why do I feel like I don't have the right to be mad, sad, angry, whatever? I guess that's why I shut down, because if I allow myself to have all these feelings I think I will never get out of bed again. (and we've now moved from teary to all out ugly cry)

Sorry for the pity party, I'm having a REALLY bad day! Pray for us all please!

The Girl is 21!

2009-05-10T14:31:00.000-07:00

Well, today you celebrate not only your first Mothers Day, but your 21st birthday too! It's so hard to believe that I have children this old. This morning I asked you if you felt 21 and you said "no" and I said, "wait until you are 44 and you still feel 21"!

May 10, 1988, this 8lb, 7.5 oz baby girl joined our little family of three. It was kind of a crazy time. I was 12 days overdue, grandma was leaving the next day to go to New York and Boston for a couple of weeks and your dad had just lost his job. But, babies don't wait for the timing to be perfect and everything worked itself out and here we are 21 years later! We named you "Brittany Danielle" (Brittany seemed like such an edgy name at the time, boy were we wrong about that!) You were a little blonde haired, blue eyed beauty and people actually stopped us in stores and said you looked like a princess. (I think your sister believes you acted like one too).
You were always pretty easy going and easy to get along with but also determined to do things your way. I know it wasn't easy having three little sisters who loved to go into you room while you were at school. How many barbies lost their heads at the hands of those three little monsters? And yet, when you all got older you were pretty much always willing to take them on shopping excursions, help them dye their hair, learn to put on make-up, etc.
You have grown up to be a wonderful daughter and now a great mom to that sweet baby!

Happy Birthday my sweet girl and Happy Mothers Day too!

First Birthday

Second Grade

Wedding Day 7/21/07

Now a Momma 1/16/09

Kelly's Time Home

2009-05-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

Well, Kelly has been home and is gone again. He got home on Thursday, 4/30 and left for Georgia on Thursday, 5/7. Thought I'd write about what we did while he was home for the week.

Friday - I skipped school (with my instructor's permission) and we ran errands, picked up a rototiller from Kelly's brother and he pretty much spent the rest of the day trying to get it started (unsuccessfully) so he could use it. While he was struggling with that I mowed the front and back and then he edged (a job I really don't enjoy).

Saturday - Mobilization ceremony at the Memorial Coliseum. One word? BORING! The soldiers were in formation while the governor, senators, state reps, mayor, general, colonel, etc made speeches, then were released. Following are a couple of pictures from that.

Sunday - We went to church and then took the girls to see "Wolverine" (we are all X-men geeks and hey, who doesn't love Hugh Jackman!)

Monday - Kelly and I had a date day. He won a drawing from the Red Cross for gift certificates to a restaurant of our choice and to the Regal Cinemas. We spent the day in Salem shopping, went to lunch at McGraths and then went to see "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past". Except for the pouring rain we had a great day together!

Tuesday - Ran more errands and rented a rototiller so I didn't have to wait until next year to finish the spot I'm working on.

Wednesday - Kelly spent most of the day packing and making sure he had everything ready to go. Chloey, Shelby and I took him the the Armory where he had to stay overnight so he could leave first thing Thursday morning.

So, that's pretty much it. The week sped by and now he won't be home again until he has leave, hopefully at Christmas.

He's Coming Home!

2009-04-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry that I haven't lived up to my "every week" updates on Kelly. To be honest, there isn't much to tell. He usually calls once a day. Sometimes for less than 5 minutes, sometimes longer. He is busy training, trying to keep all his people on task and attempting to make the Sargent Major happy (which I personally think is impossible!). It's so hard for me to hear how the SGM treats him sometimes. Kelly is still learning his new job and the people he is in charge of and is trying so hard to stay on top of everything. He and Kelly definately have different leadership styles. Kelly is pretty laid back, tries to be positive and give people a chance. The SGM seems to be one of those people who enjoy belittling people and then telling them that it's not personal and you need to have a thick skin. I think it's just an excuse to be a jerk! Anyway, Kelly could use prayer in this area. I really want to give the SGM a piece of my mind and tell him to back off. I don't know why I feel the need to want to come to Kelly's defense. Maybe it has something to do with me being the oldest and him being the youngest.... Anyway, I am trying to pray for the SGM, that Kelly would be an example of God's love to him.
Kelly is coming home on Thursday, 4/30. On Saturday, 5/2 there is a mobilization ceremony at the Memorial Coliseum at 9am. Anyone who wants to come is welcome. He will be home and will supposedly have Friday, Sunday and Monday free and will have to report on Tuesday. He is scheduled to fly to Georgia on Thursday, 5/7. So, that is the latest for now, I will write more when I know more.

Easter

2009-04-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

Today the words to this song say it all.... Happy Easter!

Chris Tomlin - I Will Rise
From the album Hello Love

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say, "it is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

Chorus:
I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"worthy is the Lamb"

Chorus:
I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

Contentment

2009-04-09T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about my life lately (wow, I must be getting old!). In our Sunday School class we were having a lesson on the prodigal son and talking about how he left home because he wasn't content with his life. My friend was talking about people now always wanting more, bigger, better stuff and it was like a lightning bolt hit me and I thought "I am content". It kind of surprised me to realize that I am truly happy with my life right now. Since Sunday I have been thinking about how this came to be. I think that it has a lot to do with gratefulness. When I have been praying lately I have been trying to thank God for everything. Does this mean that my life is perfect? Ha, right! Are there things that I would change if I could? Sure!

Here are a few things that I am grateful for:

1. I am thankful for my husband. I wish he wasn't going to be gone for a year but I am thankful for him. For knowing at 15 that he was "the one". For still being madly in love with him 29 years later. For how he makes me feel loved and protected.

2. For my kids and grandson. I wish that Nick, Britt and Holden lived closer so I wasn't missing so much, but am thankful that I have 5 beautiful, healthy children and the cutest grandson ever!

3. For this body of mine. I wish that I didn't have to struggle with my weight but I'm working on it and I am thankful that I don't have any health problems. I can still walk, run (a little), see, hear, etc.

4. For my cars. Do I sometimes wish that I could just buy any car that I want? Sometimes, but I am thankful for our 1997 Suburban that holds my whole family and gets us where we need to go and for our 1993 4-Runner that makes a great back-up. I guess I'm thankful for Kelly's motorcycles? (There's gratefulness I need to work on!)

5. I am thankful for my home. I wish it was finished, wish some parts were bigger, but we have a home. We live in a great neighborhood, have wonderful neighbors, were able to remodel to give us the room we needed and in these days of foreclosure, I am especially grateful for my home.

6. I am thankful for Kelly's job. It would be nice if he didn't have to drive so far but it is a great job. He has good hours, is off on the weekends and makes enough that I could quit my job and be at home.

7. Most especially, I am thankful for knowing God. I am thankful that I was raised in a family that took me to church from my beginning. That I found a partner who shared my beliefs and that we have brought up our children to believe.

I am thankful, grateful and content.

It Has Begun

2009-04-07T10:02:00.000-07:00

Well, Kelly is off on his new adventure. He left yesterday and flew to CA and will spend the next month at Camp Roberts. In case any of you didn't know, or care, Kelly has changed jobs in the Guard. In December he was promoted to E-8, 1st Sargent of Bravo Co, 141 Bn. That means that he is in charge of a Company of soldiers, about 100+. This is part of the group that was called up for deployment so instead of volunteering like last time, this time he didn't have a choice to go. After spending two drills with this group he was moved to the Headquarters Bn to be their 1st Sgt for the deployment and will go back to Bravo when they return. Anyway, things have been pretty crazy the past few months as he has tried to keep up with everything. He will be coming home for a few days at the beginning of May and will then leave for Ft. Stewart, GA where he will be for two months, then from there he goes to Kuwait for a few weeks to acclimate, then to Iraq. He will arrive in Iraq in the middle of the summer when it is usually 120 degrees. Doesn't that just sound like the best time!? Anyway, he can use your prayers for safety and sanity (as he learns his new job), and we here at home can use them too.

Changes

2009-04-05T16:12:00.001-07:00

They say the first step is admitting the problem. I have problems with change. I like life to go on pretty predictably. I like to have a schedule and a plan for the future. Tomorrow my life is changing dramatically. My husband leaves for the first step of his deployment to Iraq. He is going to training in California for a month, coming home for 4 days and going to Georgia for two months from where he will go to Kuwait and then Iraq. I know from his last deployment that I hate the feeling like I'm holding my breath until he comes home. He is truly my best friend and I don't feel like a whole person when he's not here.

Ok, on a more positive note, a change I do like is the change of seasons. Especially the change from Winter to Spring. Today is a gorgeous day here in Oregon, temp in the low 70s, sunny, blue skies, flowers blooming, everything seems to be waking up. I'm glad that the weather is nice when Kelly is leaving. I think if it was raining and gray I would have to get in bed and pull the covers over my head for a few days...we'll see how it goes.

Soon-to-be gorgeous lilacs

I have "daffodil envy" this year. I need to plant more!

These trees, what can I say...I wish you could smell them!

Cleo on the neighbors roof soaking up some rays

The Babes Have a Birthday

2009-03-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is again, my babies' birthday. Ok, so they're not babies, they are 14 today, 14!! 14 years ago I was enormously pregnant, feeling pretty miserable and wondering how I was going to handle two babies, a very busy 2 year old and two kids in school. I told Kelly that he should just take me straight from the hospital to the mental hospital and leave me there! Forward to now, those babies who weighed 7 lb 3 oz and 7 lb are beautiful, tall, 8th grade girls who spend their time reading Twilight, lots of time on the computer watching videos with the music blaring, facebooking with their friends and hours in the bathroom straightening their hair and putting on makeup. They have always been best buddies. As babies they would hold hands through the bars of their cribs and they pushed their toddler beds together to be close to each other. Chloey, who is older by three minutes and has always been a little more independent than Shelby and has tried to move out of the room they share twice. So far she has returned twice. They can be mean and fight, but they always make up quickly. It's strange for someone who is a singleton to imagine life as an identical twin. We just assume that when someone sees us that they know who we are but for them normal is having people ask which one they are. How odd to look at a face that looks like your own. Having two babies was not something I would have wished for the 4th time around, but I thank God for allowing me the privilege of being their mother! Happy Birthday Chloey and Shelby, I'm proud of the young women you are becoming!!

Counting the Days

2009-03-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

My husband is leaving me! Don't worry, we're not getting divorced or anything, he is being deployed, AGAIN! I knew in my mind that it was coming but now it is down to weeks, days, until he leaves. I sort of shut off that part of my brain that realizes how close it is but occasionally it surfaces. I feel desperate to spend as much time as possible with him and enjoy every minute. I know that when he leaves I will get into a new routine and most days I will function normally. But, every once in while, at random times, it hits me. Usually when I am sitting alone at church or driving somewhere (he always drives when we are together), but the worst is when I am somewhere and see a couple doing something ordinary like shopping, I want to scream, "Do you know how lucky you are to have him here!". I know that people don't really think about it, and I probably don't think about it enough when he's here and things are "normal". When he was deployed the first time I had a magnet on the back of my Suburban that said "Half my Heart is in Afghanistan". I am going to get one that says "Iraq" this time. I don't display it so that people will feel sorry for me or my kids, but so that maybe people will see it and think about all of us out there who are separated and going through our days waiting for them to come home, praying that nothing happens to them, anticipating the day when life will go back to "normal".

Wow, what a total downer that was!

Introducing Holden

2009-02-09T13:23:00.001-08:00

Well, I'm finally getting around to blogging about my sweet grandson. I left on January 12th and flew to Missouri where I was met at the airport by my son-in-law and my VERY pregnant daughter. On Thursday, the 15th I went with Brittany to her doctor's appt where they told her that if the baby needed to be induced, her induction date was January 27th. Kelly and I were leaving to come home on the 29th! Suprisingly, she went into labor that night and after some scary moments when Holden's heartrate dropped down into the 60s, it was decided to do a c-section. Brittany was put completely under and Nick had to leave the room. He and I waited in Britt's hospital room and got to see Holden right after he was born. He weighed 8 lbs 2oz, was 20 1/2 " long and was born on his due date. Sadly, Brittany had to wait almost 2 hours before she woke up and got to see him. She was in the hospital until the 19th and then Kelly arrived on the 22nd. We had a great time just enjoying him until we had to leave for home on the 29th. I am really looking forward to their visit home next month when his aunties, his other grandparents, great-grandparents and great-great-grandpa get to meet him!

When Brittany finally got to see him

A couple of days old

Random Thoughts

2009-01-07T15:54:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling kind of melancholy today. I'm thinking about the fact that I am leaving my family for three weeks and it's really hard to not worry that things will run smoothly without me. Maybe I give myself too much credit. Ok, I probably do. I am heading to Missouri to be with my #2 daughter, Brittany and her husband for the birth of their baby. I'm leaving the younger three home with my hubby for the first two weeks and #1 daughter, Lindsay for the last week when hubby will join me. I am the one who wakes them up in the morning, fixes them breakfast, makes sure that they get ready on time and drives them to school. I know that it is good for them to have to do things for themselves but let's face it, they are my babies (even though they are 16, 13 & 13). Part of it is me being a little controlling (yes, just a little). I like to have a schedule and routine and I won't be here to make sure it goes smoothly. Kelly leaves for work at 4:30 am so they will be on their own to get up, have breakfast and get themselves to school. I know that kids all over America do this every morning and survive, but they aren't my kids!
I'm also thinking about being away from Kelly for two weeks. We have been apart for longer, a lot longer (1 yr+ deployment to Afghanistan) but it is always him leaving, not me. I'm also thinking about him leaving for Iraq in a couple months and this two weeks is that much less time we have to spend together.
Finally, I am thinking about Brittany having a baby, my baby, having a baby! It is so wierd to realize that in a very short time that I will be a grandmother. How is that even possible? I'm also sad that they live so far away and I will only be able to see him occasionally until Nick gets done with the Army. And, Kelly will miss so much, the baby will be about 18 months old when he gets back from Iraq. Stupid military! Sorry to be such a downer, then next one will be better, I promise!

My kids redeemed themselves

2008-12-27T11:02:00.000-08:00

So, I was complaining about my "ungrateful" children a few days ago. This has been an unbelievable week. Last Thursday the girls (Kelsey, Chloey and Shelby) and I drove the oldest, Lindsay, to the train station in Portland. We had already had some snow but most of it had melted and the roads were just wet. We got her off on the train to Seattle where she was visiting friends for the weekend and headed home. We ran into some snow on the way home but it really hit when we got to Newberg. By the time we were coming out of Lafayette the roads were icy and we fishtailed coming up the hill towards McMinnville. We got home safely and that night it snowed a few inches. The girls (K,C & S) went to stay at my sister, Julie's with their cousins for a couple of nights. Friday night and all day Saturday it snowed, like feet of snow! On Sunday, Lindsay was supposed to come home from Seattle and the train was cancelled. We got the girls from my sister's and waited for updates from Lindsay. Monday her train was cancelled again and they booked her on a train coming in on Wednesday, Christmas Eve. Our family has a tradition of celebrating on Christmas Eve,Eve (or the night before, the night before Christmas). Lindsay was finally able to get a ticket to come home on Tuesday at about noon. We were having Christmas E,E at our house with baking and cleaning, etc needing to be done. Kelly and I left to pick up Lindsay and the three (K,C&S) stayed home to get everything ready. Forward to 5 hours later,(an hour before everyone was showing up),we finally got home from Portland (normally an hour one way) and they had finished all the baking, cleaned the kitchen, washed the dishes and had everything set out for the party. They never cease to amaze me! They really came through for me when I needed them and isn't that what family is supposed to do? I love my kids, they're awesome!!

Christmas lights under the snow

Lindsay's Jeep buried in the snow

Kids decorating gingerbread houses at the party

She's the only one that lets me take her picture

2008-12-17T15:16:00.000-08:00

Teenagers are annoying (ok, so are older kids)!

2008-12-17T14:57:00.000-08:00

So, I go to the store, make a special effort and spend money that I shouldn't have to get my three youngest (16,13 and 13) new snow boots and coats. We are having a lot of snow (for us) and their boots were all too small and I haven't bought them real winter coats for years. Everytime I did they wouldn't wear them and I finally gave up. So anyway, I bring home all the stuff and they are all excited. Forward to now, two days later. Kelsey (16) is wearing her new coat and boots and is thrilled. Shelby (13) is wearing her coat but decided that she doesn't really like the boots and prefers to wear a pair of fabric tennis shoes and Chloey (13) hasn't even taken the tags off of either the boots or the coat but assures me she wants them and then proceeds to wear fabric tennis shoes and a hoodie outside to play in the snow. Arrg!!! Well, at least the boots that Shelby doesn't want will fit me. Sometimes I wonder why I bother! Good thing that I love them.

Snow Day and Nick Returns From Iraq

2008-12-14T19:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm trying to commit to this blogging thing this time. Today has been a crazy day (hence the name of my blog). The weather people have been warning of an "Arctic Blast" such as we haven't seen in years. We were supposed to have up to 4" by this morning but woke to nothing. But, this afternoon it hit! Kelly's work called and cancelled for tomorrow and much to the girls' delight school was just cancelled. So, the 5 of us will be home tomorrow hanging out and playing in the snow.
The other news of the day (and most important) is that Nick is finally home from Iraq! He arrived in Missouri this afternoon to a very happy (and very pregnant) wife. I can't wait to go see them in January and meet my grandson!