The Next Phase

I am getting really tired of writing negative posts. Hopefully things will improve.

Kelly left this morning for Kuwait. All day yesterday I cried or got teary every time I would think about him. (and it's happening right now!) Today I went through the drive-up at the bank and my friend there asked me about him and I said that he left today and then I had to tell her that I couldn't talk about it anymore because everytime I do I start to cry! He called me at 7am while he was at the airport in GA waiting to board the plane. We talked for a while and then he said he would call me later because they were flying to Maine. Later he texted me as they were taking off and told me that they were actually flying to Canada...so no phone call. If I had known I would have talked to him longer when he called! He sent me an e-mail from the airport in Canada and told me that he wasn't sure when he would be able to contact me again. This is the part that was so frustrating when he went to Afghanistan. We had really no form of communication for a while except for sporadic e-mails. It's so hard when I usually talk to him at least once a day.

Anyway, I am tired of feeling like I am swimming through mush. I don't know if that makes any sense but I just feel so tired and have no interest in doing anything. I keep telling myself to stop but I also am trying not to stuff my feelings this time, so...it's kind of crazy. Do I make myself stop feeling depressed or just go with it and feel it? I don't know. We will see what tomorrow brings I guess...