Friday, November 6, 2009

Fort Hood

I can't stop thinking about what happened at Ft Hood yesterday. It is so hard to comprehend how someone could do something so unspeakable. First, to do it at all. Second, to do it to your fellow soldiers and civilians working with soldiers. Third, having been a psychiatrist, entrusted with people who are possibly mentally fragile, to betray the trust that should exist between a doctor and patient, especially a fellow soldier. I can't imagine the horror of waiting to find out if your loved one was involved. It will take a long time for people to recover from this. I read a quote from a soldier who said that overseas, you are ready for it, but here you can't even defend yourself. I would think that it would be a pretty helpless feeling, especially to have been deployed, to not be able to do anything when you have been trained to defend yourself and your fellow soldiers.
One thing about a military base, it's kind of like a big family in a way. I've never lived on a base since my husband has only been in the Guard, not the active Army, but when we have spent time on bases it feels comforting to me. With being in the Guard, everyone lives "regular" lives for the most part and your friends and neighbors don't get it. When you are on a base, you're a part of a shared experience. You're surrounded by people who "get" it. People know what your feeling and experiencing because they have been there. Out here in the regular world you feel like a minority. Most people that you come in contact have no idea what it's like to have your family member leave for a year or worry about whether they will come home and when they do come home will life be the same as before or different. On a base, everyone around you is, has, or will go through it and it's comforting.
I'm glad the people at Ft Hood have the support of their community and they will be on my mind and heart and in my prayers!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Honestly, I feel bored. I have no reason to feel this way, there are plenty of things to do. It was a gorgeous day today and I could have been outside raking leaves, cleaning the car or going for a walk (I did clean the gutters). There are plenty of things to do inside too. Laundry, dishes, rooms that need a through cleaning, vacuuming that needs to be done, dust that is accumulating. I just don't feel like doing anything and yet I feel bored. I sit at the computer but I'm bored with Facebook, Blogger, playing games. I think I feel bored mentally and I guess I'm just in a funk. I have so many things that I want to do but can't seem to get motivated to start. There are rooms that I want to paint, decorating that I want to do, crafts that I have the supplies for.

I'm also frustrated with my kids and school. They are behind in so many classes. Between being gone on vacation and being sick, they have lots of missing assignments and tests to make up. I care, but I also don't. That sounds awful but I am tired. Tired of being the one to bug them to do their chores and homework, tell them to go to bed, tell them to get up in the morning, listen to whining about being tired. Wow, as I typed that I thought of all the bloggers I read who have lost their children who would love to have to do these things. I guess I'm just tired of doing all these things alone. Really, honestly, I think I'm just lonely. Lonely for my husband. Nothing else can fill the void that is left without him here. So, I will just have to keep moving forward one day at a time until he comes home.

Sunday, November 1, 2009


Wednesday, 10/7, Kelsey, Chloey, Shelby and I flew from Portland to Las Vegas. We picked up our rental car and hit the road for Apple Valley, CA to spend three nights with my friend Teal and her family. Her kids were out of school on their fall break so we spent the time just hanging out, relaxing, talking, eating and having a great time!

On Thursday, the girls and I drove about 45 minutes to San Bernadino to meet up with our friends, the Balls, who are the directors of the Salvation Army in SB. We went to lunch and got a tour of their facilities, including the new shelter they are building for families. They have an awesome ministry there!

Saturday, 10/10, the girls and I set out to return to Las Vegas (with the obligatory stop at In-n-Out, of course).

We stayed at the Southpoint Spa and Casino for three nights. The Southpoint is a few miles away from the strip, which I liked. To me, the strip is mostly an adult place and I wanted to do things that were "kid friendly". The hotel had a bowling alley, a movie theater, a swimming pool and an equestrian center, all on site. It was also in an area where we were able to easily go to the store or for food.

On Sunday morning we went to Red Rock Canyon which was really cool.

Then in the afternoon we went to the equestrian center where they were having a cutting competition.

Monday morning we went to Hoover Dam where we went on the power house tour and walked around with all the other tourists.

In the afternoon we went to a movie at the hotel and then drove down the strip so the girls could see all the lights and sights.

Tuesday morning we turned in our rental car and the girls flew home and I flew to El Paso, TX to spend a week with Brittany, Nick and Holden. I spent the week enjoying the baby, helping Brittany continue to unpack and just relaxing.

Tuesday, 10/13, Brittany and Holden dropped me off at the airport. While I was in line to board the plane, Brittany called and said that on their way home they had been in an accident. Thankfully no one was hurt. Britt was in a lane of traffic that turns into a turn only lane and was waiting to merge into traffic when an older woman totally plowed into the back of her car! The woman actually tried to offer Brittany $50 and did not give Brittany her insurance information. Thankfully, the police arrived and the woman was cited for having an expired insurance card and either failing to yield or something. She kept trying to say that Brittany cut her off, which was ridiculous! Anyway, the insurance companies are involved now and hopefully their car will be fixed before they leave to drive here for Christmas!

Except for the ending, we had an awesome vacation! It was a great way to break up the time between school starting and Kelly coming home for leave in December!