Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Honesty

Honestly, I feel bored. I have no reason to feel this way, there are plenty of things to do. It was a gorgeous day today and I could have been outside raking leaves, cleaning the car or going for a walk (I did clean the gutters). There are plenty of things to do inside too. Laundry, dishes, rooms that need a through cleaning, vacuuming that needs to be done, dust that is accumulating. I just don't feel like doing anything and yet I feel bored. I sit at the computer but I'm bored with Facebook, Blogger, playing games. I think I feel bored mentally and I guess I'm just in a funk. I have so many things that I want to do but can't seem to get motivated to start. There are rooms that I want to paint, decorating that I want to do, crafts that I have the supplies for.

I'm also frustrated with my kids and school. They are behind in so many classes. Between being gone on vacation and being sick, they have lots of missing assignments and tests to make up. I care, but I also don't. That sounds awful but I am tired. Tired of being the one to bug them to do their chores and homework, tell them to go to bed, tell them to get up in the morning, listen to whining about being tired. Wow, as I typed that I thought of all the bloggers I read who have lost their children who would love to have to do these things. I guess I'm just tired of doing all these things alone. Really, honestly, I think I'm just lonely. Lonely for my husband. Nothing else can fill the void that is left without him here. So, I will just have to keep moving forward one day at a time until he comes home.

2 comments:

Marinewife1111 said...

~its cuz u are missing half of you!

We just cant be motivated when we dont feel complete.

(((HUGS)))

Thinking of you!

Linda said...

Thanks, I think I have the "middle of deployment" blues. I am glad to have the girls to keep me busy, otherwise, who knows!