Kelsey's 17th Birthday

Kelsey, my middle child, the baby I begged God for, you turn 17 today! After losing baby #3 it took a year before we were finally expecting again. It was a difficult and emotional time and I was so happy that God had seen fit to answer my prayers for another baby. I got enormous and the doctor told me that he thought you would weigh 10 pounds. Thankfully he was wrong! A beautiful 8 lb 11 1/2 oz baby girl was born on September 12th, 13 days overdue, exactly a week after my birthday. You made life pretty interesting, it seems you were always into something! Looking back, I think that you have just always had an extreme curiousity about everything. You always had to know how everything worked and were never satisfied with a simple explanation. I know that it wasn't easy having two little sisters come along when you were only 2 1/2 but you have been a great big sister! You have grown into a thoughtful, caring, helpful, creative and beautiful young woman. I feel so blessed that God chose me to be your mother. Happy Birthday my beautiful blue-eyed girl, Kelseebee!

Birthday

Well, today is my 45th birthday. Wow, that seems so crazy to think that I am halfway through my 40s! To be honest though, I feel better physically and mentally and better about myself in general than I did in my 20s or 30s. Sometimes I feel so mad at myself for "wasting" those years feeling depressed and down on myself but I have to remind myself that those years brought me here to where I am today and that's a pretty darn good place. I do wish I could go back and tell my younger self to take better care of myself. To eat better, to exercise, to work out the issues that kept me feeling down on myself, but I choose to look forward not backward. I'm thankful for this time of life. I'm eating better, trying to exercise regularly, feeling better about my body, enjoying having the freedom that "almost" grown-up kids bring. I'm happier than ever with my relationship with my husband. We are kind of "rediscovering" each other after years of raising kids. I think that these long separations have made us appreciate each other more. I know that it has for me. I want to enjoy every minute that we have to spend together. I want to do so many things right now. I want to take some more art classes and discover just what I am best at. Taking art last year really awakened the creative side of me that had been kind of pushed down for so many years. I also want to learn to kayak and scuba dive and travel. I just want to appreciate all the important things in life that aren't things: family, love, time, etc. I feel like maybe this is like the half-way point in my life and I want to make the second half the best it can be! Happy Birthday to me!!