Counting the Days

My husband is leaving me! Don't worry, we're not getting divorced or anything, he is being deployed, AGAIN! I knew in my mind that it was coming but now it is down to weeks, days, until he leaves. I sort of shut off that part of my brain that realizes how close it is but occasionally it surfaces. I feel desperate to spend as much time as possible with him and enjoy every minute. I know that when he leaves I will get into a new routine and most days I will function normally. But, every once in while, at random times, it hits me. Usually when I am sitting alone at church or driving somewhere (he always drives when we are together), but the worst is when I am somewhere and see a couple doing something ordinary like shopping, I want to scream, "Do you know how lucky you are to have him here!". I know that people don't really think about it, and I probably don't think about it enough when he's here and things are "normal". When he was deployed the first time I had a magnet on the back of my Suburban that said "Half my Heart is in Afghanistan". I am going to get one that says "Iraq" this time. I don't display it so that people will feel sorry for me or my kids, but so that maybe people will see it and think about all of us out there who are separated and going through our days waiting for them to come home, praying that nothing happens to them, anticipating the day when life will go back to "normal".

Wow, what a total downer that was!